Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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