We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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