I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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