sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm like, not good at living.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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