i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
