So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
