He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
