Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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