the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
