just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
