My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
