do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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