apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
