I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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