You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
