don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
