And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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