Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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