when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
