oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
