i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
