Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
