I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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