you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
