I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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