Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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