He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
