i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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