I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize