he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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