Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
