gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
