do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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