i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
