Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
