Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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