So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
