How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
