Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
