but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
