I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
