lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Randomize
