He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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