I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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