Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
