You tried to poop in the sink last night.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize