That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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