Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
