i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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