So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
