also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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