White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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