How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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