shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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