She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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